In this tutorial we now have a Band 7 essay graded by an. - Indus Surgical
349556
post-template-default,single,single-post,postid-349556,single-format-standard,eltd-cpt-1.0,woocommerce-no-js,ajax_fade,page_not_loaded,,moose-ver-2.1, vertical_menu_with_scroll,smooth_scroll,woocommerce_installed,blog_installed,wpb-js-composer js-comp-ver-5.6,vc_responsive

In this tutorial we now have a Band 7 essay graded by an.

In this tutorial we now have a Band 7 essay graded by an.

First the essay can be read by you, and after we break up which sentences helped this essay score a Band 7.

Each criteria happens to be considered plus the sentence when you look at the essay has been colour coded to correspond to your fours marking criteria used by the British Council / IELTS IDP.

This tutorial will assist you to understand:

  • How an essay gets a Band 7
  • What sentence structures and language is required for a Band 7
  • How you can smoothly link ideas

During the present time, the populace of some countries includes a somewhat multitude of young adults, weighed against the sheer number of the elderly. Perform some advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

It really is well known that some countries have a population with increased young people than old people. Even this fact could have both pros and cons, i think the positive implications of having a youthful population over-weigh the negative ones. This essay will discuss the pros and cons giving examples to support both point of view.

On one side, having more younger people may lead to deficiencies in professionals within the society. Older population may be more educated as compared to young one, that is being why they have had more hours to examine a professional career during their lives. For instance, in order to become a specialist physician it really is needed at the least ten years of university studies and also this may not be able for a adult that is young. In addition, younger population have less life experience than old population. People after their 50’s might have been through a lot in life and additionally they may become more prepared to solve any day-life problem than younger people. This might help to form a less stressful society. Lastly, younger populations are likely to have higher rate of crime, customwritings this could be because young people do have more energy to commit crime than old people. A study through the University of Chile indicated that into the south of Chile, in which the population is mostly young, the rate of robs and crimes where twice higher than within the north where all of the population where within their 50’s and older.

Having said that, youthful populations are in general more active and much more happy. This can be them to work more and maintain them-self more active because they have less old age-associated illness leading. Contributing to the truth that healthy people could work more proficiently, using this they could donate to the economy associated with the country, earning money rather than spending. For instance, it’s true that old societies spend a lot of income in health with their old citizens. Another positive element of having young adult populations is there are more chances of having outstanding sport professionals. Young people have significantly more time and more energy than old individuals to practice and become an excellent sport professional. In soccer almost all of the players retires from their soccer-career once they turn thirty yrs . old. With old people there would be no right time and energy to start an activity career. And last but not least, young societies are more inclined to have outdoor activities for the community. This could be because they’re more proactive in organize those activities as well as more likely to participate in them. Old people could be too tired to venture out.

To conclude aided by the arguments given above, I firmly genuinely believe that some great benefits of youthful population over-weigh the disadvantages. Despite the fact that, there are several positive areas of having an adult population
that we should think about.

It is well known that some countries have a population with an increase of people that are young old people (TR1). Even (CC1) this fact may have both advantages and disadvantages, In (GR1) my opinion the positive implications of getting a population that is youthful the negative ones (TR2). This essay will talk about the pros and cons (LR1) giving examples to aid both point of view.

TR1 – Good to begin with by paraphrasing the question.

CC1 – Check the meaning / use of ‘even’.
GR1 – Check your use of punctuation.
TR2– good to clearly state your opinion.
LR1 – A bit repetitive. Attempt to vary your usage of vocabulary when you can.

On one hand (CC2) / (TR3) having more younger people can lead to too little professionals within the society. Older population may be much more educated as compared to young one, this can be being why (LR2) they have had more hours to study a professional career throughout their lifes (LR3) . For example (CC3) / (TR4) , to become a professional physician it is needed at the least ten years of university studies and this is almost certainly not able for a young adult yet (GR3). In addition, younger population have less life experience than old population. People after their 50’s (LR4) may have been through a lot in life (LR5) plus they may be much more ready to solve any day-life problem than younger people. This might assist to form a less stressful society. Lastly, younger populations will probably have high rate of crime, this may be because young people have more energy to commit crime than old people. A report from the University of Chile (TR5) showed that when you look at the south of Chile, where in fact the population is certainly caused by young (GR4) , the rate of robs (LR6) and crimes where twice higher than in the north where a lot of the population where in their 50’s and older.

CC2 – an phrase that is appropriate introduce your first ‘body paragraph’.

TR3 – Good organisation / use of paragraphing.
LR2 – because
LR3 life that is–singular), lives (plural)
CC3 – Appropriate language to introduce an example.
TR4 – Good to incorporate an example to guide your idea.
GR3 – some nagging problems with sentence structure here. Perhaps ‘specialist physicians require at least… and young adults have not yet had time and energy to accumulate this knowledge..’?
LR4 – Perhaps ‘who are over fifty’.
LR5 – Perhaps a little on the informal side, but lovely natural use of language.
TR5 – Again, good to make use of examples to support your comments.
GR4 – Accurate use of a relative clause.
LR6 – Take care here. ‘Rob’ is a verb – together with noun is ‘robbery’.

On the other hand (CC4) / (TR6), youthful populations are in general more active and much more happy. This can be because (CC5) they usually have less old illness that is age-associated them to operate more and continue maintaining them-self more active (LR7) . Adding to the truth that healthy people can perhaps work more efficiently, using this they can donate to the economy of this country, earning money as opposed to spending (GR4) . For instance, it’s true that old societies fork out a lot of income in health for his or her old citizens (LR8) . Another positive aspect of having young adult populations is that there are more likelihood of having outstanding sport professionals. Young people have significantly more time and more energy than
old visitors to practice and turn an sport professional that is excellent. In soccer almost all of the players retires (GR5) from their soccer-career when they turn thirty yrs old (LR9 ). With old people there is no time and energy to start an activity career. And last but most certainly not least (CC6) , young societies are more likely to have outdoor activities for the community. This could be since they’re more proactive in organize those activities and in addition prone to be involved in them. Old people may be too tired to go out.

AUTHOR: admin
No Comments

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

Edwin Encarnacion Womens Jersey 
WhatsApp chat